I thought I’d share a few of the sources I found to be encouraging during our time of waiting and for me, times of discouragement. None of these are affiliate links. I’m just posting them here for you to access easily if needed.
Reading God’s word and books on spiritual matters, listening to music and creating (writing, sewing and crocheting) were some of the things that helped me.
Bible study, books and articles:
I started a study of passages in the Bible on people with infertility. I mostly focused on Sarah and Rebekah, but also on Hannah and others. I think the turning point for me occurred as I read about Sarah in Genesis.
I read some of Elizabeth George’s book Following God with all your Heart and Mardi Collier’s book What do I know about my God? as a way to study what the Bible says about God.
Hannah’s Hope, by Jennifer Saake was the most helpful for me besides the Bible. I read it and cried, and read it more and cried even more. So much of what the author shares of the emotions she went through in her several miscarriages and times of waiting were parallel to mine. We haven’t had miscarriages and we haven’t had to wait as long as she did, but I had many of the same emotions she described. I felt like someone actually knew what I was going through. It’s a hard read. It took me to a very sad place, but I think it helped me grieve and challenged me to turn to the Lord. She is very honest. God’s will may not include a child for you even when you surrender all to Him. I felt this was very important to include because so many times when I was single, I felt like the books and resources were promising marriage to everyone, when it is simply not true. Marriage, motherhood and many other desires are not always what the Lord wants of us.
These articles by Kristen Clark, When God Gives Someone Else what you Desperately Want, and When God Doesn’t Give You What You Desperately Want. Then these two other articles, Laying Down My Isaac and Are You Tired of Waiting on God? Most of the articles that I’ve read from Natasha Metzler have been encouraging. She has a post listing resources on infertility.
I think one of the biggest things that helped me was redirecting my thoughts back to the Lord when I was beginning to feel sorry for myself or feel the jealousy return.
I had to pray these prayers constantly as I struggled: “Lord, please help me trust. Lord, please help me rest in you. Lord, please help me lean on you and praise you. Lord, please help me find all that I need in you….”
A few dear friends and my husband were helpful in letting me share my struggle then helping me focus on truth rather than lies that I tended to tell myself in the pain and discouragement. Having someone listen, but not let me wallow in self-pity was very encouraging. I had some accountability to make sure I was thinking right thoughts.
My story has changed from waiting to a “happy ending.” I’m pregnant and we’re looking forward to meeting our little girl in a bit over a month. We now have the responsibility of caring for and training a little sinner to love and obey God. We don’t know how our story will continue to unfold. Whether she is a newborn, ten years old or twenty, we need to be trusting the Lord to protect her and take care of her. She is the Lord’s, not ours.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
I hope that if you are in a waiting and painful place that some of these resources be a blessing to you.