My cousin Amanda, over at Home Husband Hounds shared a few weeks ago her thoughts on some things she and her husband have been told since they’ve been married. Her post mentions comments from people who were shocked that they were married at a young age (21 and 22). She’s also written a post on reasons she’s glad they were married young.
Her post got me to thinking about my situation before and after I got married. You can read part one with what people used to say to me when I was single. Then I wrote part two on what my husband and I heard when we were courting and here is part three on what people say to us now, or since we’ve been married (almost two years).
“Still experiencing marital bliss?”
Yep. Not sure what they’re expecting, but my sweetheart is a blessing to me each day. I’m very thankful for him. We were married at the ripe ages of 28, so we were both glad to finally find a mate. Steven completes me. He’s what I need to keep from being too emotional. He listens to me. I wouldn’t trade him for anything.
“Are you pregnant? (or) Any kids yet?”
Um, No. Um, I’m not that comfortable talking to people about that. Yes, I want kids, but it’s just a bit awkward. I’m glad when my husband is next to me so he can answer for us. His standard answer is well you can see for yourself in nine months (from today, or tomorrow or next month).He’s much better at brushing off the comments. For years and years, before I met Steven, my arms ached to be holding children. To be a mother has been a life-long dream for me. and frankly Mother’s Day is very painful for me. Someday I hope the Lord will allow us the privilege to raise our own, but for now I need to be resting in God, and waiting on His timing. Like I had to wait on His timing for meeting and marrying my love, we’ll have to do the same with extending our family.
“Where are you teaching? (or) Where do you work?”
I had to quit teaching because of a difficult situation and health reasons. When I quit, Steven and I planned for me to not return to a classroom. We had checked our finances and we have opted for me to be full-time at home. In so many ways, my not working saves us money, with all the things I can make for us at home rather than buying. On a side note, with my health issues, I’ve had to change my diet, and it’s much cheaper for me to make a lot of our foods from scratch rather than buy more convenience foods.
I have only just recently had more stamina. I’m still having days where I don’t accomplish much due to lack of energy or due to pain. I miss the students/kids. I don’t miss the classroom paperwork and stress. I miss the interaction with kids and the love they give. I miss the hugs and chatter. I’m thankful to be able to teach Sunday school and still be involved with kids, even though it’s not as before.
“Why aren’t you working?”
It’s a bit awkward sometimes because most of the time people look at me and don’t think I have any health issues. But I do have chronic back pain and fatigue that “flares up” frequently. But I love being able to reply that I’m a homemaker. Like I said with having children, I always wanted to take care of my home. I generally love cleaning and cooking and doing household chores. I don’t always have the energy for them, but I do enjoy taking care of our home. That is my work for now.
“What do you do all day?”
I create and I homemake. I think people again don’t think I look like I’ve had health problems so since we don’t have kids, they can’t imagine what I do all day.
I try to have my husband’s needs met with lunches and snacks and his work clothes prepped for him. I sew patchwork and create bags, quilts and all sorts of other small/large fabric creations. I crochet. I paint. I write. I mend books. I scrapbook.
I try to keep our home clean and tidy. I cook and prep our meals. I plan our meals and groceries. I work hard to keep our food costs under budget. I try to walk 15 to 30 minutes a day to raise my energy/stamina and be active in gentle way. I read and I do browse the internet and learn a lot of skills on youtube. I’m not quite sure what people expect when they ask me what I do.
“You’re young yet.”
I don’t feel young. I don’t have the experience older married ladies have, but my body often gives me aches and pains that make me feel older than my years.
I told my husband I was writing these posts. He told me frankly that he would have liked to meet me when we were younger (we’re both nearly 30 now, so say it would have been nice to meet when we were 22).
But we both know we weren’t ready for a relationship until the Lord brought us together in 2013. If we had met earlier, we both would have had issues or lack of maturity that we would have struggled through in a relationship.
We both knew many young couples who got married at younger ages, and both Steven and I felt like we were missing out, getting old and even start to lose hope on getting married. God wanted us to be patient, and he brought us together in His timing.
I’m thankful for our marriage and the conversations we can have with people. Our courtship and marriage, hopefully is an encouragement to the people around us.
Like I shared in my other two posts on “things we’ve heard”, we’ve read books to help us along the way in our almost two years of marriage. Here are a few of the titles we’ve read.
The Bible. We need to both be leaning on our Great Lord, then on each other. We are striving to grow together and in the Lord. No we’re not perfect in this. We both struggle with things, but the Lord is good and helping us.
The Exemplary Husband – Stuart Scott
The Excellent Wife – Martha Peace
Creative Counterpart – Linda Dillow
Lies Women Believe – Nancy Leigh DeMoss
We have many more books on our shelves that we haven’t read yet, or gotten to read yet. I actually haven’t read The Excellent Wife or Creative Counterpart all the way through yet, I’ve read sections in both. I need to them entirely. These books along with several on more intimate subjects have been helpful to us in our understanding of our roles as spouse. Maybe when I get to read the others I’ll be able to share some more of those titles with you as well.
Thank you for coming along with me as I shared these thoughts.
God bless you,